Random Rambling

I'm at Starbucks and it's completely empty.  From my experience, that's pretty rare.  Especially in the middle of the day.  It is Saturday though, so maybe that's the reason.

I was thinking about what to write on this blog today.  Not much is coming, to be honest.  My head's a little like Starbucks today - empty.  One thing I thought about was that I could literally write about anything.  I tend to write about God topics because I'm always curious and amazed with that topic.  But - I'm not limited to that.  I could write about sports.  Or movies.  Stories.  Mystery.  Fiction.  I literally have a blank slate.

But that got me thinking about whether I truly have a blank slate.  All my experiences - all that I've read and done - these things shape how I think.  Hurts, joys, love, rejection - all of it shape how I see the world.  Not to mention God actively molding and shaping me - while I often complain in protest.  

Is that a blank slate?  Some of the best ideas that I hear come from different types of people that are not like me.  In fact, much of what others say or discuss I wouldn't even think about.  That's one of the things I love about groups of people - and diversity.  People have very different lenses on life.  This can be really insightful.  Of course, there's tons of ignorance out there (a lot within my self, I confess).  But even encountering ignorance reveals the lens of someone else and can often be insightful.  

Any blank slate that I start out with would only come from my very limited perspective.  In a sense, my imagination is limitless.  But then I factor in that I limit myself (and boy - do I know how to limit myself) and I don't think my slate is exactly blank.  That's one of my trains of thoughts today...

Here's another thought that popped in my head...

Today is a wonderful day.  It almost has the feel of Spring.  Nothing (that I know about) is wrong about the day so far.  No tragedies (knock on wood) to speak of or anything like that.  There's no pressure about today too.  Saturday - no deadlines.  No stress.  Nothing.  I even cleaned up my place, and my car - did some chore stuff.  I'm here at Strbx finishing one of my Lent commitments. I love it.  But - here's the random thought.  When things are going good - I always have, in the back of my head, a feeling of guilt.  I have no idea where this comes from - but it's always there.  It's a nagging little bug that keeps biting me in a place that I can't scratch.

Maybe guilt isn't the correct word.  Hmmm.  I don't feel "guilty" or anything like that.  It's that, deep down, I should be feeling some sort of stress - or busy-ness.  It almost feels unnatural having a completely free and good day.  Doesn't mean I won't enjoy the day, but I sure wish I could squash that bug.   

That's something for some psychologist to figure out, I'm sure.  ha!  

Well - that's what I got for today.  Rambles.  Hope the your day is awesome (whoever happens to read this)

Jer