I’ve only had one or two dreams that seem to have a “message” behind them. Most dreams are just crazy visions. But, the one I remember vividly was one I had on a backpacking trip. It was my first five day backpacking trip, and I forgot a pillow. I sleep on my side, so this was a huge issue. I literally got no sleep for two days. I’d get 20 minutes here, 20 minutes there, but nothing longer. It was awful. Finally, on the third night I passed out.
Here’s the dream. I was on a long road in an African country. I was sitting in the Pope mobile. If you don’t know what that is - it’s a car that Pope’s rides in so he can wave to people as he drives by. The glass is bullet proof and it’s a well armored car - and, you can stand up in it. So, I’m sitting in the Pope mobile on a stool and there’s thousands of starving people reaching to get inside to where I’m sitting. I’m holding a huge metal bowl (like a popcorn bowl) and it’s full of spaghetti (which happens to be my favorite food). And I can’t stop eating in front of everyone. As hard as I try, I keep shoving food down my face as starving people are banging the windows of the Pope mobile. And tears are flooding down my cheeks because I can’t stop, even though I want to. I want to give it away - this food in my hands - but I keep chowing down instead. I look at dying people as we drive by - and I keep eating. Then I woke up - in the middle of the forest. haha. Crazy.
Dreams are dreams, but this one had an element of reality - and it’s stayed with me ever since.
I’ve been in this waiting period for a while now. I don’t usually pray for specific things because I kind of think that’s a "genie in a bottle" type of view of God - which isn’t like Jesus at all. But - I have been a bit restless. So, I prayed one of “those” prayers. I’m starting Young Life again, and have been back and forth on whether I want to coach football again. Well, I know that I don’t really want to coach - haha - but, I also know coaching is a great tool as a leader for Young Life. So, I prayed about it. I did one of those timing prayers. “If You want me to coach - give me a sign in the next week. A specific sign.” I never really believe these type of prayers work - but - God is active and listening. I do believe that. And - as I’ve said, I’m a bit restless. So, I asked.
It’s funny, I usually advise people not to pray in this manner. I think it’s kind of a manipulation of the type of relationship God really wants - which is spending time with Him - even just noticing Him. It’s not that I don’t think that God answers prayers like this, it’s that often these types of prayers come from a very selfish point of view. God is always pushing us to value others above ourselves. These types of prayers often put self above others. But, I guess, when you’re clueless about your future, there’s nobody better to turn towards.
Last night - randomly - I got this message from an old football player that I coached. He never went to Young Life, never went on any trips, nothing. But - I did spend a lot of time with him at practice. I literally hadn’t talked to him in years. The timing of this message is crazy. Here’s his note:
“I don't know if you remember me, I was the freshman in 2009 with a big blonde fro, often referred to as Big Bird, who became a starting right tackle his first year learning to play football. Either way, I just wanted to thank for you every day you were able to coach me my freshman year. I was going through a really tough time and without your humor, respect, and encouragement to aim high and see my potential, I might not have been able to finish the season. I didn't continue to play, but I never lost my dedication in whatever I did throughout high school, and now I'm going to UCLA (I applied for Neuroscience). After I finished the season I felt capable of anything high school had throw at me, and I couldn't have done it without you.”
Coincidence? I sure want it to be - haha!
I find that I want to keep chowing on my spaghetti. Sometimes I don’t want to follow God’s call because it’s uncomfortable, scary, new, and disruptive. But. I also admit that don’t know what’s best for me at all. I’m clueless - but I know the One who isn’t. So, I’m gonna step out. Reluctantly. haha. And with a twinge of excitement as well.
Do I trust that He is good - and do I trust Him with my life? I want to. haha. jeez.
Ok - let’s see where He’s leading...
Have a great day!