When I was in high school, every other word I spoke was a swear word. I think this habit formed when I was in Jr high - all in order to feel cool - or maybe to make me feel older, I don’t know.
I also remember saying swear words before I knew what they meant. This is funny to me now - but - when we’re kids - we’re so clueless... I had my mouth washed out with soap on more than one occasion. I got caught swearing outside my parent’s house multiple times (I have an obnoxiously loud voice - grrr). I was one smart cookie!
My senior year in high school, I started hanging out with some new friends. All of these friends were Christians and they never swore - or hardly ever swore. It’s awkward when you’re the only person in your group swearing - so I learned to not swear as much when I hung out with them. One of these friends never swore at all - ever. I had never heard anything vulgar come out of his mouth - not even once. It was weird.
One day - while playing tennis - we made a pact to stop swearing. I think we chose to do this because swear words were never really honoring to other people - and we were learning how to love - taking those first innocent steps. We made a pact that if a person swore - every other person got to hit the arm of the offender as hard as they wanted. There were 5 of us in the group - that’s four hard hits for every offense.
Looking back, this wasn’t really fair. I was the perpetual swearer. I think my friends wanted an excuse to hit me. Needless to say, my arm had many bruises over the next couple months. But - I have to admit - it worked. I actually did stop swearing. I’d replace F#%& with Fudge or Frick - or some other less offensive word. It didn’t have the force of a good swear word, but it still worked.
Flash forward three years.
I really had stopped swearing (except in cases of extreme fear or “stubbing my toe in the dark” moments). At the time, one of our friends was an exchange student in Germany - another was at Pepperdine - and the other three of us were back home in the foothills - near Sacramento. We decided on a whim, one weekend, to take a road trip to Malibu to see our friend at Pepperdine.
That weekend, we visited all over the Los Angeles area - and there were many side stories along the way (example - window shopping on Rodeo Drive - I mindlessly gave a bum some of my change and my Pepperdine friend said, “Jeremy - that bum was dressed better than you!” - and he was right. ha!) - but there’s one story that has stuck with me as if it had happened yesterday. On one of the last nights of our trip we visited Disneyland, and one of our good female friends from San Diego joined us at the park.
We did the usual fun stuff - had an amazing time - and stayed until the park closed. The four of us got in our car to drive back to Pepperdine. I don’t know the roads down south, but we found ourselves driving parallel on a freeway with our friend from San Diego - Kristen. I think this might have been after a quick Denny’s run, but I can’t quite remember. All I remember is driving parallel with Kristen at around 1:30am.
To give a visual - I was sitting in the backseat of my car behind the driver. My buddy Bil was in the front seat driving (he was older than all of us and we trusted and looked up to him). Gregg (our Pepperdine friend who I’d never heard swear) was in the passenger seat giving directions. My other buddy Chuck was sitting right next to me.
I don’t recall who said it first - if it was Gregg or Bil - but one of them said something to the effect of, “Sometimes - don’t you just wanna swear?” And we all talked about it and kept flirting with the idea of swearing - without actually swearing. I think it was Gregg that might have said the first bomb. “I F’ing (using the real F word) wanna swear right F’ing now.” - something like that.
Now - mind you - I had never heard a swear word come out of Gregg’s mouth - ever. This was about the funniest thing I had ever heard! Suddenly we were all saying every swear word we had ever known. I’ll never forget this moment until the day I die - Chuck is sitting next to me and Kristen is driving parallel to us - and she‘s got the biggest smile ever - and is waving at us - and we’re saying things like “See ya later B^$#%!” And all sorts of derogatory language. She can’t hear us, of course - but we were laughing soooooo incredibly hard as we cuss her out. Chuck is flipping her off under the window - and she can’t see it. I was laughing so hard I was crying. Serious tears streaming down my face. My stomach muscles were hurting. I’m laughing now - thinking about it.
Kristen drove on towards San Diego, and we drove towards Malibu. We went on a swearing rant for a while longer, then Bil suggested that we each get one last burst of swearing before we stopped. So, each of us, in turn went on one final rant. What was interesting to me is how many time fudge and frick kept creeping into my swear infested rant. We laughed and finally finished.
Then Bil said - “Hey - let’s pray.” haha. Again - so funny - thinking back. Praying after swearing - not something I’d ever imagined. I remember Bil’s prayer - as Chuck and I snickered in the back of the car. He said something like “God - thank you for the fun and laughter - and we didn’t mean anything from these words. Just give us a sign or something if you don’t want us to do anything like this again - and forgive us if we went to far.”
I remember the "thank you God" part - the forgive part - and the “sign” part of the prayer. We drove the rest of the way to Pepperdine and went into Gregg’s dorm room to sleep. I was exhausted from a long day and my stomach actually hurt from laughing so hard earlier - I was dead tired. I slept on the floor - Bil was on an upper bunk - Gregg in his bed - and I think Chuck was also on the floor. We were out by around 2:30 or so.
At around 4:30 am - the room we were sleeping in began to shake violently. Bil immediately woke up and started yelling “Earthquake - I think it’s an earthquake!” My first immediate thought was that it felt like Star Tours in Disneyland. Gregg and I were up - but I think Chuck was still sleeping - but then finally work up from the commotion. I do think something hit Chuck in the head, but I don’t recall exactly. The earthquake subsided and we were all wide awake. I’ll never forget looking outside the dorm window and the usual glow of light from LA was gone. It was pitch black - from the power being out.
We honestly didn’t know if this was the “big one” - in terms of the big earthquake that is possibly going to happen someday. It was actually a terrifying moment - in some ways - even though we were ok.
Turns out this quake was later named the Northridge Earthquake. There were fatalities and injuries - and it was all pretty crazy. That sequence of events is still hard to believe.
Did this happen because we swore? haha. I seriously doubt it. But, it has given me pause when I do want to swear - and that’s the truth. It's possible that God knew we'd be in that moment (that was already destined to happen anyway) to give us a sly wink wink. God - after all - did create humor - in the midst of this very tragic world. Laughter during a very tragic moment - for sure...
And - let's be honest - life is hard. We can either laugh at it - or cry. Sometimes we need to do both - with some swearing on the side. This is my story anyway...
The most eye opening moment in that journey was something that Bil had picked up on that I hadn't yet - which has taken me forever to learn. In the midst of our junk - our crud - our "sin" - God is right there with us - even when we're blind to Him. And in the midst of our junk - He is love - loving us - laughing and crying with us - He is always there.
And a simple prayer can remind us that we're not alone in this seemingly dark world - where Earthquakes can seem to ruin the party. The good news is that His love is so great that sometimes Earthquakes can even break the chains that bind us - and lead us to freedom.
I can think of one such earthquake the led to the freedom for all people. The one that happened on that wonderful - and horrific - day that Jesus died on the cross. "It is finished." - we are free...
But - wow - that earthquake day in 1994 - to this day, that is one of my favorite memories!
I don't swear often - rarely actually - but...sometimes it just feels appropriate. Y the L not, right?
Have a great fucking day! haha.
Jer
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